Know Thyself Best

“He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how” -Friedrich Nietzsche

“…if he knows himself well enough” -Shelby Chollett

Your purpose and the principles you live your life by should always be your True North. It will answer every question, ease every worry, and keep you rooted in the present moment when making decisions. The better you know yourself (“self-actualization”), the more aware you become to the implications every choice you make has on your life. You are a unique, talented, and beautifully flawed human.

With that said, I pose the question:

What are you willing to sacrifice in order to achieve your life’s purpose?

If you are confident in knowing who you are, choosing yourself and your truths are never a sacrifice.

Just Because You Can, Doesn't Mean You Should

Identifying your skills and talents can be liberating and clarifying. Adding to your repertoire of abilities can feel like you leveled up in various aspects of your life. Being proud of yourself, your hard work, and the joy it brings you is important. The next best thing to do, then, is to be cognizant of when these abilities provide a path, and when they get in your way. The barriers that can come with your unique skillsets and insights can often come in the form of others taking advantage of them for their own benefit. This is not to say that they do that maliciously. They see something in you that they can benefit from. This is opportune.

…learning when to say ‘no’, understanding what you may be sacrificing when you say ‘yes’, and being able to recognize burnout and imposter syndrome creeping in is extremely important

Meanwhile, you could very well be creating an identity behind these requests specific to your abilities, which has potential to pile on a sense of obligation, false narratives, and doubt in yourself. This is why learning when to say ‘no’, understanding what you may be sacrificing when you say ‘yes’, and being able to recognize burnout and imposter syndrome creeping in is extremely important. It is very easy to be nudged over and over again into tasks that do not end up serving you, leaving your daily itinerary full of obligation, a diminishing sense of well-being, and a growing resentment.

So, when called upon, ask yourself what you are willing to sacrifice in order to say ‘yes’, what you are gaining by your response, and if it aligns with your True North. These boundaries must be actively implemented, stuck to, and made well known.

Oh, and listen to your gut.

Be Human-Centered

If you are only being kept around because of what you can do for others, without an appreciation for who you are as a human being, you do not want to be in that room. Being simply task-oriented instead of solution-oriented misses out on the creativity and unique perspective everyone can bring to the table. This is a vital part of being human-centered and should never be spared.

The moment a system’s status quo is prioritized, all creative solutions and opportunities run the risk of disappearing because all you can see now is red tape and barriers. The “solutions” turn into checkboxes that are only there to ensure guidelines are followed to fit the structure, running the risk of overshadowing the purpose.

Acknowledge What Is Not Being Said

You were asked to be in the room because you are valuable, not disposable. To acknowledge what is not being said is to observe where you are now, how you got to this point, the opportunities laid out before you, and the actions others have taken in the peripherals of those opportunities. Too often do humans fall into false narratives about themselves because they fail to recognize their assets and ways others call upon those assets. Rather, we seek explicit recognition more than the implicit.

Get rid of the social construct that perfection exists and instead be present. The structure that creates expectations kills creativity and joy. Creativity and joy grows skills and illuminates gifts. Reflecting on and identifying your skills and gifts allows you to bring solutions to the table confidently, with purpose. The personal narrative you self-talk into existence matters, therefore further necessitating knowing yourself well. It helps mold whether you are willing to take a chance on yourself, access the creative part of your brain, and allows you to be the unique human you are. No one is you.

Do It Your Way

There is no handbook to life. Everyone approaches life in their own, unique way. Embrace that, don’t fight that by going down someone else’s path.

What do you have control over?

What brings you joy and why?

What fulfills your life and why?

Time is finite, so is what you are doing worth your invaluable time?

‘I did everything right and it still didn’t matter’ is a common sentiment among those who have not figured out just how unique they themselves are. Going along someone else’s path creates a power struggle between who you believe you should be based on social, human-made constructs, and who you are destined to be.

When finding yourself people-pleasing, attempting to fit into a box, consider the following questions:

What do you have control over? What brings you joy and why? What fulfills your life and why? Time is finite, so is what you are doing worth your invaluable time?

Find what interests you and fall into curiosity bliss.

Recognize & Trust Your Worth

Your brain continually strategizes, coming up with “what if” scenarios because we are wired to be steps ahead. Worst case scenarios happen anywhere, everywhere, but not as we assume they will end up. The joke is on us, though. We can be terrible predictors! Yet we continue to seek out and prepare for the (often times irrational) unknown.

Knowing yourself and finding confidence in the unique human you are, the skills you hone, and the people you choose to surround yourself with paves the way toward trusting yourself and recognizing your worth.

Be kind.

Be human.